You’re forever my Queen of Hearts, an unwelcome and unmoving fixture in this game. This useless card I cannot play; a joker in disguise. So I’ll gather up the rest of my hand and work the best I can with what I’ve got.
And oh, dear. I think I’ve lost this game as usual.
I guess my other cards aren’t enough. I’m stuck on you, my Queen of Hearts, I can’t twist and again you’ve shattered my confidence, my bluff fails, the other players read my cards like they are tarot; they know what I am thinking, they know how I am trying to play this hand. I’m shaken and as always my little card house topples. So I gather up my deck of fifty two – always with you! – and rebuild it again.
I can shuffle the pack all I like; I can deal a different hand every time! I can switch and try to twist but you’re always mine, like an elaborate card trick where the magician knows exactly what he’s dealing or a sinister game of snap where you match with every one of my cards.
You’re worse than an Ace of Spades, my little Queen of Hearts, and I don’t know how to play you. I don’t know what to do. All I know is that this card is worn now. It’s overplayed. The picture is fading and the edges are frayed. My edges are frayed. It’s not really a game any more, my beautiful Queen of Hearts. My card house falls again – using you as one of the foundations really was a silly idea – but this time I don’t rebuild it. I’ve fallen, silly fragile paper walls collapsed and I give up. I placed you at the bottom of my pyramid, my foundations, my core and when you shook I shook and down came my pack of fifty two. I came tumbling down with you.
And you’ll forever be my Queen of Hearts even if we don’t fit together like in a friendly game of snap. I can try really hard to bluff my way through this hand but my poker face is cracking and I’m going to go all out now and say that I’m stuck on you, my Queen of Hearts, and when that magician smiles that mysterious smile, fans out the deck in front of my face and asks me in that assuredly intriguing tone to pick a card, it’s you I choose.
Every time.